Three Tips for Healthy Families
We are all housed within families - whether that be our families of origin or our current family. There is a relationship between the health of a family and the health of an individual.
I like to think about a family as an ecosystem. The health of an entire ecosystem is reliant on the health of each of the parts. Here are three practical starting tips to support healthy families:
Tip #1 - Parents first.
Healthy families follow a pattern in which parents put in the work to keep their relationship healthy and distinct from their children. What do I mean by this? Parents need to be fundamentally aligned with each other and absolutely clear that they are working together as a team to raise their children.
Sounds simple, but it isn't.
Many parents start aligning more strongly with their children when times get tough and in this way abandon the "team" mentality.
How do you keep a team mentality? Set aside guarded time to work on your relationship - go on a date, set time to plan out the week, carve out time to have the hard conversations.
Plan on it and protect it.
Tip #2 - Set clear expectations and follow up with rewards.
A trade secret shared by teachers and child psychologists to motivate children to achieve their best is the token economy. At its most basic, a token economy is a system that says: If you do X, you get Y. If you don't do X, you don't get Y. Sit down as a family and determine three expectations (X) you have of your child. Agree on what privileges your child could earn for meeting those expectations (Y). For more on the token economy, check out Your Defiant Child by child psychologist Dr. Russell Barkley.
Tip #3 - Keep an eye on screen time.
It is easy to be sucked into screen time during these isolating times. Managing children's screen time can be difficult, mostly because we often use screen time to manage children's behavior. However, screen time can have a negative effect on children at the level of the brain and through modeled inappropriate behavior. Three practical ways to moderate screen time include: 1) putting daily limits on screen time, 2) planning pleasurable activities throughout the day, and 3) watching something fun as a family.
At Weaver Counseling and Assessment Services, we work not only with children and adults but also with families. If you think your family might benefit from meeting with a psychologist to gain additional support, do not hesitate to reach out. Call (330) 492-8383 to set your first appointment with Dr. Weaver. Learn more about services offered here.