Lament

We are in a cultural moment where the reality of trauma is accentuated and the necessity of lament is clear. While there are specific criteria related to a clinical diagnosis of traumatic stress, I think that there are several overarching principles related to trauma that are important to remember right now as we process and mourn present adversity:

Remember that a range of feelings is normal.

This may sound like a therapist-y thing to say, but here is what I mean: Throughout the history of psychology, there has been ongoing discussion and debate about whether suffering comes from within (intrapsychic) or comes from without (trauma). 

It is very important to remember that having a response of grief, anger, or anxiety is a normal response when we are faced with upheaval, injustice, and pandemic. These responses should not be pathologized. 

Perhaps more importantly, these should not be "narcoticized" to borrow language from Walter Brueggeman. We do better to openly express our emotions in response to great adversity than to attempt to distract ourselves from them or dilute them.

Remember your body.

When we think of mental health, it is a bit of a misnomer, because mental health does not simply involve the mind - it involves many aspects of who you are, including your body. A trauma expert, Bessel van der Kolk, wrote a now well-known book called The Body Keeps the Score. The title is based on the idea that even when we are not consciously thinking about the impact of trauma, our bodies are keeping track. Physical impact of traumatic stress has been well-documented in the ACES study, and most of us can look back at times in our lives when we were even just a little stressed, and see the impact of stress on our body. Take time to care for your body. Take a walk, eat three square meals a day, limit your sugar intake, play a fun sport with your kids, or even play a musical instrument to get out of your head.

Remember and wrestle with your ways of meaning-making:

Adversity not only disrupts us emotionally and physically; it also messes with our way of making meaning in the world. This can be one of the most challenging aspects of the impact of adversity. Rooting ourselves in ritual and tradition can be helpful in times of great stress. When life really has changed, work to keep regularly occurring activities. Examples might include waking at the same time of day, dressing for work (even from home), and "normal" activities like watching your favorite show with your kids on Wednesday night. Rituals have a way of grounding us, even when the future is uncertain. 

But it is also important to wrestle with our ways of meaning-making during times of great stress - it is permissible to make room for questioning. I think of a quote from Mr. Rogers that sums this up well: "In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers."

Present adversity - for many reasons - affects each of us differently. Counseling can be a useful space for processing and support. If you are struggling during this time, we are here to meet with you. Call (330) 492-8383 to make your first appointment. Learn more about services offered here.