Teaching Kids How to Manage Anxiety
As parents, we cannot change the fact that the world is full of uncertainty, that bad things are bound to happen, and that suffering may be just around the corner.
But we can help give our children the tools to manage the stress that comes with these challenges.
Parents are uniquely positioned to equip their children with tools to manage anxiety. Some attachment theorists would even say that parents co-create the world with their child - that is, they show their child what the world is like by the way they engage the world.
Big time impact.
Many kids who struggle with anxiety also struggle with problem-solving.
Here is a problem-solving skill you can use with your child:
STAR Problem Solving
S-top and do something to calm down. Take a walk, get a drink of water, or take a few deep breaths.
T-hink about what your problem is and say it in one sentence. Then, T-hink about every solution you can for this problem. Write down anything that comes to mind with no editing! Finally, label each solution with a colored pencil, marker, or crayon as a
red light solution (not a good idea)
green light solution (good idea)
yellow light solution (somewhere-in-the-middle-idea)
Help your child weigh out the pros and cons of each solution, and take care to point out the angles they can’t see. This is a helpful process as a parent when you want to support your child developing decision-making muscle.
A-ct by picking the best green light solution, and try it.
R-eview and see how your solution worked. If it worked well, keep using it. If it did not work - scrap it, and go back to find another green light solution from the list.
As parents, it is important to teach our children in a balanced way that while the future is not certain, we do have agency about how we deal with the present.
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